Starting to feel like me

 Lately, somethings felt different.

I've been having these moment, small ones, where I feel like I actually know who I am. like I'm not just going through the motions or trying to do what others are doing. Its small, its quiet, but it's there.

Honestly, I like it.

For the first time I felt happy, even if it was for a second. It didn't feel numb or distracted. but it doesn't last and that's the crazy part.

The feeling comes and then it fades. for a second I think, was that even real, am I doing this right then?

But I'm starting to see things differently, maybe those moments mean something, maybe that its proof that what I'm doing to change and grow I actually working, even if those moments aren't constant yet. it just means I'm on the right track.

I know growth isn't supposed to feel perfect all the time.

I think it shows up in flashes, moments that click, where I feel aligned, where I'm starting to recognize myself more and who i want to be.

and the fact is that maybe that means I'm on the right track.

I know im not "there" yet, but I know I'm getting there one day at a time and that has to count for something right?