Boring to Better

 money has been weighing on my mind lately, I need income, but I am also disabled and having a hard time finding a job that doesn't require constant standing or walking, I have a small business but not making money that warrants talking about. I need and want this to work so I can supplement the money I get and afford things like food. I get loads of complements about how talented I am, and my items are amazing but that doesn't pay my bills or put food on the table or get my car fixed. don't get me wrong a appreciate all compliments but they still don't pay the bills or give money and that doesn't get talked about enough because if you do people assume you're ungrateful or whatever else they say it is. but it's true. both can be true at the same time. I can be and am grateful for all complements and unpaid support but the reality is I don't run a business for compliments, no one does. if that was the case money wouldn't be needed. I started a busines...

 Sometimes I ask myself am I good enough? Because my dreams and goals aren't being accomplished as fast as I would like them to be. I know building a business takes time, but I wish it could go faster as I want and need this to be my fulltime job and income. Everyone says the things I make are great and I'm talented but that doesn't pay the bills, that doesn't get my things sold. I don't say this to people because I know that comes off as rude and ungrateful which neither is true but that's just how I feel. I'm not a good seller, some people know how to sell and talk things up to get people to buy, I however cannot. I want my art to sell itself but clearly, it's not. I know I need to do something, but I can't find the happy medium. I sometimes can't find the motivation, I also have 2 YouTube channels and a TikTok page I'm trying to grow,  With YouTube I have a vlogging channel and the other is a gaming channel. now with my vlogging channel wh...

 Sometimes I just stand in the middle of the living room and just look around, in silence, I listen....I look....I breath....I feel....and I think, I do all of that in the moment. and feel how unreal this seems even after being here for 3 and a half years I still can't believe it. How I got here isn't how I wanted to get here. I got pushed into my own place before I was 100% ready. to a place I never thought I would live. life events made things happen faster than I would have liked. Of course, I wanted my own place but not here, not in this town but because of the timing I had no choice as where I wanted to be was way out of budget at the time and still is. but I stand in the living room with a mixed of emotions, of disbelief and a felling of relief that I finally have my own place even if it was in a way I wouldn't have liked. and no nothing criminal or bad in that way but someone near and dear to me passed away, someone who was my rock, someone I never had to live withou...

 OMG, so last night I self-published a memoir about a part of my life, it's still being reviewed, but holy wow I truly can't believe that happened. in about 72 hours i will find out if it's on the market or not. publishing a book was on the cards but not 2 days into the new year lol. I will definitely post it when I find out.

 Well Happy new year, I feel different, LOL I know that's weird to say just for a new year. it's not like it's my birthday. But I feel good about this year. I am determined to get my business to grow, my TikTok and YouTube to grow, as well as continue my personal growth journey and my weight loss journey. I want this all to work. also grow this blog and my podcast, if interested follow my channels podcast on Spotify: The rose method YouTube: boring to better YouTube gaming: Mamagamer87 but until next time. hope your year is filled with positivity