Boring to Better

It's almost Christmas, I'm ready as far as presents go but I miss my mom and dad. My mom passed away in 2021, but my dad lives an hour away and my car isn't safe to drive down there. ugh life... I need to make money to have the funds to fix the car and do things needed to do like extra things.... anyway back to Christmas, I didn't go overboard with presents this year. she got 5 which most think is decent, which it is but I'm used to doling more and getting her more but had to work with what I had. She will enjoy it nonetheless; she is 16 so everything she wants is expensive lol. but I know she will love what I did het her. plus, whatever her dad gets her. Happy holidays to you all

 Where do I start?!?!?  Isn't that always the question? lol well Have been sad lately. Always hard around the holidays. especially since my mom died. It has been hard, but I take it one day at a time and I'm learning to let myself feel all the feeling because I typically make myself stop crying and block the feelings, but I know I can't keep doing that on this journey of healing. Will I ever get over her death? no and I don't intend to, but I want to learn to live with the feelings and remember the good times and remember I can grieve for however long a need too.  I just miss her so much. On top of that I haven't seen my dad in a little over a year and that is the longest i have gone without seeing him which makes this time even harder. I know i will be okay just have to remember all the good is all.